Listen to JAMIE

These rainy days had brought me to somewhere far. I love the rain, always do. I don’t mind the occasional shiver under the rain or the wet feet while crossing a pavement.

This rain took me on an adventure I had never had the courage to. It led me to discover more things than I had ever known of myself. And once I ventured into it, I couldn’t stop. And neither did the rain. The dripping water lasted for more than 3 days.

I have this picture, that captured some perfect smiles, with front teeth showing, curving eyes and all those, but I forgot who the persons were. Not the kind of unfamiliarity of name, but the type when we stopped having connection with each other. The kind that tells you the people in the picture can never had the same smile again.

But really, that wasn’t the best smile one could have in an entire life.

You know what’s one of the easiest way to obtain happiness? It’s contentment. Who says these rainy days bring you only troubles?

There are some pictures, but I feel more to wordy right now.

Sometimes I find myself rather nebbish. Not a good thing. Really.

So today, shall be the day I make a decision.

Really.

This heavy rain reminded me of one of those October nights some 2 years ago. When we knew exactly what held us together. What we had always wanted- and finally had it. My skin remember how your touch feels. Do they have memory like the heart? Talking about the heart, it surely does feel very much fonder of you. It also reminded me of another November night where everything seemed to be wrecked. Of you turning your back to me and walked out of me. I could almost recall the sound of how my heart broke. The clattering sound when my heart shattered. Million pieces laying bare on the trail you walked away on. This time round, though, I have none of those moments. I feel at peace. With myself. With what I have, and what I don’t.

Cos I’ve tried it all. And it was, in the end, futile.

29/12/2009
3H’05. The best year throughout my 5 years of secondary school.

30/12/2009
Sang from 3pm till 10pm for the day. Had loads of fun with the gang!

31/12/2009
The group of guys that sacrificed themselves by squeezing so I could have the passenger seat in front.

16/12/2009

Naughty kids can get rather cute at times. Look at the 2 little boys! Haha!

17/12/2009

Shooting process going on. This time was for the Christmas Drama.

18/12/2009

Among the junk foods and toys! Triggered the kiddish side of me!

19/12/2009

One of those nights when we would take cellgroup picture. All youths with great potential!

20/12/2009

There was a wedding. Very bad timing for me, though.

21/12/2009

Games that made them succumbed to dance. Mission accomplished!

22/12/2009

Reminded me of.

Anyway, we were in a super rush to produce our Christmas drama!

23/12/2009

More shootings. More phone calls. More videos.

24/12/2009

It was a 5am picture. Rush, rush, rush!

25/12/2009

And finally all the rush paid off. It was over! Look at the shagged look! And we all smelt really bad at 10:30pm that night. But WOOHOO!

26/12/2009

Hung out. Watched 3 movies subsequently. Super relaxed.

27/12/2009

Proud of our directors.

28/12/2009

Start counting the blessings in this year….

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore… and who always will.
So, don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

I know a lot of people know who he is, but I also know there are not that many who got to see the side of the guy that I did. And that guy, well, I’ll never forget him. Not ever. I’ve learned so much about life and emotion from knowing him and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Including the ending. Your heart needs to go through some bumps like these once in a while. Besides, he has made a monumental impact on me and on my life in these past few years. I know no matter how many years go by, my stomach will always do a little flip whenever I see that face.

Okay. Project 365 right? I know…

1/12/2009

Bau. The blue lake that’s stained by arsenic. Or some chemical. Not as impressive as how it’s being described on the brouchure. But still, peaceful lake. Fresh air. Drizzle. Composed a nice picture.

2/12/2009

An early morning on the beach of Siar Beach, Lundu. Tranquility overwhelmed.

3/12/2009

Wanted to catch a movie that evening but all halls were fully booked. Went to get some dessert instead.

4/12/2009

Troubleshooting. Cable problems are such pain!

5/12/2009

It was an early morning. It sure was a busy day.

6/12/2009

I remember the morning was almost frantic. I had video rendering error and had only less than 30 minutes to solve it. It didn’t help that it happened at 8:30am in the morning.

7/12/2009

Movie shooting. A very touching story, I would say.

8/12/2009

Okay, this, is the uniform of the asylum. Serious. For movie shooting purpose. A psychiatrist actually thought that we are the real new patients there. Very good experience, indeed.

9/12/2009

Loved the make-up! Also for movie shooting purpose. Teehee. I really love the hairrrr..

10/12/2009

Christmas tree is up! Jolly jolly.

11/12/2009

Video announcement shooting.

12/12/2009

Pastor Jay Koopman was here. Very good-looking indeed. But what he brought was a fresh start to many of the young people that night. It was a life-changing session with him.

13/12/2009

Now the christmas tree is lighted up! And Seed of Hope had started.

14/12/2009

Operation Andrew #1. 10 new comers. Wooots.