Listen to JAMIE

Pastor Mike + yours truly + Pastor George.
What a privilege to have a photo taken with 2 great men of God.
At the same time!

Laughed too much for the night.
Spirit of joy.

And the laughters are all too contagious.

**

Sometimes I realised I’m avoiding matters that seem to be unnecessary to be avoided. I guess, that’s what she told me about, self-protection.

**

Ahh, I haven’t prepare for school tomorrow yet. And it’s 11:50pm!

*runs*

Spent the afternoon fiddling with the True Friend Test thingy. And there are 2 souls who are addicted to create the test.

I’ve officially lose my voice. Screamed the lungs out for the night.

The night was way too great. So many hugs.

AND! Joanne decided to carry me and twirled me around.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I felt like a kid, and asked for more.

So she did it again.

More (!!!!!!!!!!)

And that unexpected hug from Pastor Mike Connell(!!!).

I can go on talking about hugs.

Blogger’s block.

Night.

I don’t know where did the courage come from. I sat on the black-colored leather chair and mumbled 3 words- anything you like to the hairstylist.

And I have fringe now.

And now I look like I’m 9. Or 10.

**

Sometimes when the touch is too deep, the pain that overflows from the wound is too much to bear. Even for the outsider.

But I would remind myself of the possible outcome, the greatness to come.

Or look at D. J., whom I managed to pump hope into his life.

Credits to God and His love.

**

I will let the night fades away while me listening to Azure Ray.

**

Seriously. I regret cutting my hair.

GAH!

Afterall, it was me who used to say, people never fail to fail you.

Some people are never just meant to be.

BUT

Awesome, it’s Friday!

As for the remaining emotions, they will do with some smiles.

I miss God. Big time.

I wonder why do I eat when I later vomit them out again.

Gordan asked, there are 100 fishes in the tank. 1 died and the water level rises. Why?

Because after it died, the other 99 fishes cried. So the water level rises.

I’m back to the starting point.

One where I found love and hope.

Mum insisting to go for pizzas tomorrow.

Ugh.

The disappointment is too much to take. I’ve chosen to surrender it all. In other words, given up.

Maybe I shouldn’t. But.. ack. *waves hand dismissively*

I guess the inability to do Math is some kind of trait in my family.

The week passed by without me knowing what I’ve done.

And my stomach is currently in churn mode. I’m ready to throw up. Anytime.

If only tears can flow like how I would vomit.

Haha.

I had forgotten the way to cry. And I feel sorry for feeling so.

I forgot how to be myself. The weak-self.

I’m not even sure if it’s pretense. Or what.

Weird flow of words for a Thursday night.

For now, I would love to have a cold bathe.

Get my mind clear.

And back to the starting point.

Don’t ask.

I yearn to express myself
Wholly expressed
But no, the words do not flow
Inexpressible
It’s been long since I last had such saturated emotions

It’s raining
On a Wednesday night
And I’m trying hard to hold back my tears
Not giving in to vulnerability
Yet

Let the rain pour
And wash away the sorrow
Because I remember the colour of crimson red
On the bare skin
Vividly

I can’t believe it. I ignored the coffee and drank milk instead.

To whoever that I’ve ignored today, I apologise, from my heart.

I do not know what to say.

Nor do I want to say anything.

But perhaps a chocolate is able to coax me back to myself. And say something.

Sometimes it hurts to even look around.

Crazily agonizing.

I don’t know what’s up with that part of heart made up of compassion.

I feel like writing to everyone, just because.

For the mean time, just grab unto that small voice within.

And yes, some love.

The day’s been tough.