Listen to JAMIE

I always forget to sleep.

Need a reminder for that now!

Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, give someone, do for someone- it will never be enough. And you have to decide if it’s worth it to keep your heart at their feet, so that they can walk all over it one more time.

I see myself sharing on the stage and thousands and thousands of young lives shall be changed. The negative will transform into positive. The passive into active. The weak intro strong. The poor intro rich. The lazy into deligent. Thousands of lives will be touched and changed ever since.

I also see myself publishing a book where through each word that I had composed will channel life into the dead. Will speak into the dry bones. And all souls that were asleep shall be awaken.

And that, dream, is my greatest treasure.

Today, I realised I’ve breakthrough into a whole new level that I had never visited before.

In serving, serve with a sole purpose - do it FOR God.

Then there will come a time when you will be elevated.

I may not be the best, or even good in doing it, but I’m willing to learn. To give God what I have and believing that what seemingly to be little can be turned into something great!

When I was a little devastated just now, Penny made me a warm milo and I received some honey berbequed chicken wings. And the project was alright again.

Do you know there’s a familiar and soothing voice of a person that would melt your heart when this person hits at the right spot of it? I didn’t know why, but I felt free to let my guard down let the tears ran wild.

Nobody else makes me feel this way.

Except, God.

Maybe it was just an experiment waiting to be failed. I wished I knew better. In retrospect, we both loved. It just saddens me that you decide to walk out from me.

For many nights when you were still here, I thought, it would finally work out. Like, one of those- 8 nights ago. Then I realised we were simply giving each other a chance straight back to tear the unhealed wounds apart, again.

I wished I have a camera. Set to b&w for that moment.

You know even after you left, I could still feel you next to me, I swear. Until the next sunrise that pierced through my whirls of hopes and shattered them. Thoroughly. Its heat replace your warmth. Those 5 hours of your presence didn’t help.

I wished, I knew better.

Good night.

I used to write so much better than I do. Moving swiftly with words and each word denote my expression thoroughly.

Or maybe I’m just getting a little inert.

I thought of the apple tree that I wanted to plant at the backyard of your home. Then I remembered we will never get to do that ‘cos it’s impossible to nourish apple tree with this climate. Impossible, like us.

I used to be so sure of this. But not anymore. The twienth way to love you, somehow, has to be eliminated. I regretted many moments but it’s all okay.

Our love is more than an effigy.

Of you, I truly miss.